One of THOSE days..

You know the ones. You try really hard to just keep going on like there is nothing really going on but YOU know there is.  You feel the entire world has gone on and kinda left you standing there goin but but but wait a min ughh.

Ya today was one of those days. Don’t act so surprised.  I am not one to really do the bar be que and fun festivities on memorial day. I don’t want to remember.  Now before you all start scoffing and throwing things at me.  I have full respect for our service people.  HUGE RESPECT. see that is the problem.  It hurts.  I know it needs to. We need to remember what they did for us. I get that. But, there is one man in particular that I just have too hard of a time.  I miss him way too much.

I knew If I would have stayed home today it would have been a really bad day. So I went to the gym. I can stay busy and get more out of my head there than anywhere and there is NOTHINGGGGGG to remind me for ….. how many hours  “ok clock tick on.”   Was a pretty good plan too.  Just probably should have  let others  (my husband) in on what I was doing.    I  just, believe it or not,  have been very poor at this  communication stuff, lately.  no one wants to hear about my father anymore Ya I know that (BOY HAVE THEY LET ME KNOW THIS!!!!!) So I just hold it all in. I don’t talk about him for their benefit.  OR HAVE I EVER.

So the last thing I wanted to do today was mention how much my heart was aching.  He wasn’t in the military after all he was  a deputy sheriff.  BUT, Seeing all the military riff and Taps on tv,  He had a military funeral,  Commercials with it playing and all the hoopla, it can’t help but bring back all the memories of what happened.  Another reason I just don’t like doing stuff this day.

 

 

Then I step back for a second, I think about how I am feeling right now and cannot begin to imagine what those military families that have lost loved ones must feel.  Pride I know is a huge one.  The pain can be overwhelming still for me and it has been some time.

To hear people bragging about their days off work and chugging alcohol and eating bbq  That is not why these men died.  Take yourself to the polls and vote, go to work tomorrow, be heard, THAT is why. Keeping your freedoms you have.   Keeping you safe.  Protecting others.  A million other reasons.

I hope people thought of that today. I know some did. I DID.  Hope if you didn’t you are now.

miss you more than stars in the sky daddy (and twinkles in the stars) xoxox

 

Wish Big

 

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squishin it all in

It always seems I am in GO MODE. I am hurry up. stop. Hurry up. Stop. These past couple of months have been chaotic at best with lack of an easier term of description. School coming to an end, summer around the corner, Wrapping up 101 different ends of things that are on my list of things to do (that is still on going I have not forgotten I am still working on) 

I am primarily working on health in the forefront. Attempting to stay off the M.S. medication and remain healthy. I am in a minor setback with a cold right now.  I still proclaim this as a victory because those of you that have known me for some time know that a cold normally would have put me in the hospital and turned into a major issue. This is the first time I can say I have not been in the hospital and on MAJOR medication for recovery. Even though I had allergic reaction to the antibiotic, and had other issues still we are so far so good. THAT I am claiming as a victory! 

TAKE THAT M.S. YOU WILL NOT WIN!

Along with changing my entire lifestyle of eating and exercise working out changing my outlook everything  we have become more active.  I am all about  living this life not from the bed anymore Although I had to these few days and it was a big reminder of where I was and I DO NOT LIKE THIS. I HATE IT in fact.   It is a reminder of what I am working for so hard and a good really goood tap on the shoulder saying see what you have been doing and its working!!

Bella is LOVING IT. She is in go mode. She wants me to go go go do do do with her everything everywhere. She wants to live at the beach every day as much as possible and I DO NOT BLAME HER. while I am not quiiiiiiiite there yet.  We will be experiencing more of that. As you see we did visit since we are right here and when I get off these antibiotics you betcha baby. we will be right back at it full on. Playin in the waves and digging sandcastles. Rescuing clams looking for Ariel. Doing all the things I have dreamed of these years as I have lay in this bed.

I hope you know just how very proud of you I am. I am so sorry I didn’t get to come to your last 2 school things because of this silly cold. I know you were disappointed. I have disappointed you so much because of illness. I hope very soon that won’t happen as much. I have been working hard to combat that so we can do more fun things and I can be there more for you. I hate this cold got in the way of your last 2 days of all days. 

But, I want to remind you of your last year.  4th Grade was a tough year.  You have grown sooo much this year and I am not just meaning taller kiddo. YES you have. you are getting so tall. you are definitely taking after your father and your grandmother McCrary on the tall part (that is so  not from me.)  when your goofy and trip over something that isn’t there… ya that’s when your lovely mom shows up sorry kiddo. it is what it is.

You had an awesome teacher this year that we just loved. Mrs. Hughes. (she is an Auburn fan which makes her even more AWESOME)

 

So cute cheering on our Termite Warriors!

 

 

Self portrait made for open house parent night. 

 

 

Breast Cancer support hair strips

 

 

 

History of Alabama program

all of you from the History of Alabama program.

Your big ol cookie you had with toomers lemonade after the Alabama program.

Lookin all cute Thanksgiving.

 

Finally Disney

 

Charley Brown Jones

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You love him loves you love him loves you….

Book Fair

 

Bebe Hiding from Charley

Born to Worship (another program you were in  at school)

Helping mom eat healthy

Looking spectacular in your spectacles.

Muffins with Mom (at your school this was fun)

Bella boppin to the car with her cute self CAR LINEEEEE!

your big ol pineapple at Bamboo for your birthday.

My guitar girl. So proud of all you have accomplished playing guitar and at school.

You and your Bff Eva always come home with crazy stuff.

Sleepovers… Note bottom left who is right up in there with you two girls. He didn’t miss a beat he was hanging right with yall not missing out on an ounce of the fun.

 

playing with your sweet baby cousin Mackenzie for the very first time. 

 

Nio

Mothers day with Grandma

Charley met Lala.

 

Had your first guitar recital

You with Mr. Cazalas your guitar teacher.

 

Powering the tv… or so I said it did. You know better though haha

 

You making fun pictures of charley

 

Always take time to go enjoy The Beach.

Montgomery Field trip. That was an awesome field trip. Always remember the Rosa Parks Museum. 

 

You and charleyyyy

 

Facing your fears is a very strong thing to do. You have made it through some VERY hard things this year. I am so proud of you.

 

Last day of school as a 4th grader. You did it baby. With all that went on this year, More than I care to mention in your little life, You have been such a trooper. It has been hard. You did it and YOU DID IT with HONOR ROLL.  I could NOT be any more proud of you. You are one amazing kid. I love you strong smart gorgeous girl!

Your mama

Wish Big

Dig deep

never quit

BE A BEAST GRRRR!