My dear Bella bug…

It is starting to get warm and summer is coming. There is so much you want to do and that I want for you to. School is about to be out. You are 9 now. You have so much fun playing with your friend Eva Caroline. You two have been very best friends since we moved here. You both were just toddlers then. It has been such a joy for you two to grow up together. Why does it scare me so? This GROWING UP THING. I know I have to let go and let you live in this world.
I don’t have to like it though.

I am so protective of you. I get mad when I am sick and can’t watch you play or go to your school functions. I want photos and things to remember everything. My brain doesn’t work like it used to. I want to remember all of it. We did so much to get you here I want to cherish every moment. Ya that is why you have so many scrapbooks kid. I kinda love you and stuff.

I knew these days would come. You getting older. Wanting to play outside You wanting to go roam the neighborhood. I just am not that mom. I guess I watch too much “Law and Order” but Bad things happen in this world. I protect your eyes from it and you think Oh it wont happen to me and that is fine. I DON’T want it to happen to you. I guess that is why I just want you close to me. I know things could still happen regardless but at least I would be there to take off my shoe and attempt to beat them down or do somethingg. In your eyes that is all mama would have to do to take care of any situation.

With being 9 comes more eyerolling on your part and more responsibilities that we have given you. You are a good kid. You make good grades. My job is to keep you focused. You are a lot like me that way. You get easily sidetracked by “oh look something shiny.” You like to daydream. You believe in the good in everyone and you have a tender heart. Those are wonderful qualities that I will do my best to protect. They also are qualities that can cause a lot of heart break. I used to have a very tender heart as well. Maybe that is why I am so protective of you now. So give mom and break and think for a second she has a reason. She has seen things. BEEN THROUGH a lot of things. NOT SO PLEASANT things. she loves you hey I SHARE MY CHOCOLATE WITH YOU KID! (reluctantly but I do.)

What I want you to know most more than anything. Is how much you are loved no matter what the case. No matter how often you roll your eyes. That your daddy and I have been there and I probably have done it. It gets confusing I know but that is why the good lord gave you to us. For us to try to help you muddle through it. You have a wonderful army of people around you that love you so much and care. That you can always come to FOR ANYTHING. NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. I hope you will always know that if it is today or 30 years from now. I just wish you weren’t in such a hurry to grow up. It goes so fast. You will always be my Bella bug. You will just have to come to terms with that one. I see you rolling your eyes! xoxoxoxox mom…