yeah yeah yeah I KNOW its been a while since I have posted. BUT, I have very good reason.
Im sure most of you know (well ok some of you I am not vain enough to think you follow my every move on facebook and twitter hhaha seriously I am don’t) SO I thought I would give an explanation.
I have been in the hospital and really really down with a bad flare up from Multiple Sclerosis.
I had been doing sooo so good and thought I was like a normal person. (well when the weather is cool I do get away with doing so much more and got so spoiled)
Then it happened. The little signs. I tried to ignore them. I just didn’t want to see it. I was enjoying my daughter and my husband and being able to live that life again. I didnt want to go back there. I have missed so much being able to get out of the house and scrap like I wanted to and just feel human. When I got to where the muscle spasms were making my body functions uncontrollable I couldn’t deny something ws up.
Then I woke up to a sore throat. Ok maybe it was just allergies things were blooming. Ya I was still in denial. Then It got a little worse, I couldnt really swallow good. Ya allergies it will be ok just keep taking the muscle relaxer its all good. By the weekend. I was unable to swallow liquids without choking and it going down my esophagus and becoming asphyxiated. I was losing weight like crazy and my potassium had bottomed out.
When I finally got to the hospital it was so very much worse than we realized. I was listed as mal nutritioned and lacking of vitamin absorption and intake.
running fever and right side of my throat was completely non functioning.
ya. This is where it gets scary.
I really didnt want to think about it. A friend not much older than myself thats how it started. He couldnt swallow. He had 3 beautiful children and a wife. He is no longer in pain. But there was nothing else they could do.
I think maybe that is why I blocked so much out. I cant think about it.
It got too real. They put me on the HEAVY HEAVY steroids. 1000 mg two times a day. 10 treatments. Also I still am taking the interferon treatments and my blood glucose ran way up.
I would just be sitting there and I would go numb in both arms from my neck to my waist. couldnt lift my arms couldnt swallow. I could breathe ok felt like when you are at the dentist and you are all numb and tingly.
Was the scariest thing.
They had always told me MS was a tricky illness and can do such strange things. Especially when your lesions are on your brain stem.
I dont have new lesions I have plaque heavy build up on the lesions that are already there which is far worse if there were new lesions you could account for new symptoms. this just means Im going to keep having same symptoms in larger quantity and hit harder and could happen any time at any level of severity.
We believe it is heat triggered, over doing and anxiety. mostly heat.
I had been trying to do as much for Bella to give her “normal”
I want her to have so much. I dont want her to miss out on anything. Yet I ended up missing her end of school stuff.
She and John are my entire world and all I wish is to be able to do things with them and be the wife and mother I always wanted.
Hate that something ridiculous like Multiple Sclerosis tries to stand in way of that.
I fight with it all the time and tell it to MOVEEE. It just will not listen.
WE need more research and meds that will cure this illness so my little girl has her mom. Along with the millions of others out there that need their parent or family member also.
So for now Im still healing and resting. Very tired cant sit up for long. The side effects from all the medications are horrendous. I have shingles in my ear and on my face and chest (rebound from the big steroid iv’s) Im gaining weight also mostly fluid from the huge steroid iv’s
just have to keep the potassium up because of my heart.
also the magnesium. Ensure has become my friend.
I ate so much jello in the hospital and they always bring the green kind oh gosh I think they send all the green jello to the hospitals to get rid of it ughhh gross.
I have been loving smoothies though. Really good and building me back up.
I have kept my l.o.a.d. prompts and will be getting them done just as soon as I can sit up long enough to do them. I get up some but mostly im still in bed. Just weak and overwhelming tired. I had thrush really bad it got in my eyes (that was an experience) couldnt see the tv or closed caption hardly read anything. So im glad that has cleared up. who knew you could get that in your eyes? was coming out of everywhere.
so anyway that is my update probably more than you wanted to know but I have been getting emails and people worried they havent seen me. So this is just easier than trying to respond to so many emails. My ears hurt with the shingles so havnt been on phone so I apologize for not calling anyone or answering. It will be better soon and I will be back to me and bouncing around in no time.
Love to you all and keep scrappin because I cannot wait to see all yall have done. I have alot of catching up to do and commenting to do. XOXOXOXOX miss yall much
Load Day 6 Is all about alignment. You know me I’m a “this looks good there” kinda girl. I don’t measure I usually just eyeball it. I like the shabby chic look with ragged edges and kinda off the page raised up inky grunge. So trying to do straight lines with shaky MS hands is really a challenge.
BUT I DID IT.
Taking the photo was harder than anything.
The more I tried to get it straight the more crooked it became so I finally just said phooey and was done with it for now.
some days are like that.
Some days not so bad.
seems like its when you try harder is when it does it if you don’t try so hard it wouldnt be an issue. Kinda Murphys law or somethin.
IM gonna try to rephotograph these last few layouts again tomorrow in the bright sunshine. They look so much better than these photos show.
The photo I used today I have scrapped before. I have alot of duplicate large photos that either I duplicated or they sent me 2 by mistake.
is ok I have grandparent scrapbooks I can put them in and Aunts scrapbooks they can go in Im sure they will not complain one bit.
Load is giving me an opportunity to get these duplicates scrapbooked before my brain turns completely to mush and I can’t remember anything about how old she is or the dates. (SINCE SHE went and reorganized my photos I had so well put and the dates with them on sticky notes grrrrr) now they are all over the place in this drawer,
so anyway HERE is my layout for todays challenge
The picture I took of the Page doesnt do it justice I hope to have that remedied soon.
I used Echo Parks Halloween Line (LOVE THOSE COLORS) and Prima flowers
crystal stickers 2 of them since she is 2 in this photo.
The journaling says “You are such a silly girl. You found these vampire teeth and quickly put them in. So her you are in a Sunday dress and vampire teeth running around going RARRRRRGGGH! Yup! That’s my little monster alright!”
I had a realllly bad day/night yesterday. We had a temp drop and the weather the day/night before messed up my muscles something fierce. SO I didnt get my challenge done. My left leg wouldn’t straighten all the way and I was having full body muscle spasms. (you ever had those really bad hiccups that make your body jolt? it feels kinda like that but more startling) You just have to relax yourself through it.
SO needless to say Scrapping wasn’t much of an option yesterday. Stayed in bed mostly. I also missed going to Bellas new school. I missed that more than anything. I was really sad.
Is part of it. She is really excited about her school and it does my heart so good. Has been a while since she has been this happy about school. Feeling somewhat better today. Leg still not all the way normal but can sit up HALLELUJAH!
So I caught up on my LOAD pages.
I didnt get to take very good photos of them but will remedy that in the morning I hope.
SO HERE THEY ARE.
LOAD DAY 4 and Day 5
This challenge was to use white space… was sooooooo difficult for me. You know how I like stuff on my page. It looks sooooo naked to me!!! aaaaack!
and then here is todays challenge color triangle I didnt have a problem with this at all since that is one of my rules I follow usually on most all of my pages.
I know the photos of the layouts are not great. They were taken in my kitchen after dark. I will remedy that in the morning and make better photos to replace these.
Im so exhausted so I am going to hit the hay.
Hope you all have had a great day.
I am so excited for Bella being accepted to this school SHE IS NOW A WARRIOR WHEWHEWW! SO many opportunities for her now. SHe is going to get to be a little cheerleader and take tumbling and dance go to math camp continue her Guitar lessons and sooooooo much more she is beaming and actually thanked God in her prayers tonight.
I was very surprised.
Makes me a VERY Happy mama!
whewww It has been a day and a half. I feel like we have been going going going.
We went to check out the school today for Bella bug. OH MMMMAAANNN. She is going to LOVE THIS PLACE. I met her teacher. Mrs. Overman. SHE IS SOOOOO NICE. She sent a kitty beanie baby home with Bella for her to take care of until she gets to come to the school to meet her.
(how sweet is that?)
I think they are going to be great together.
Bella is excited and I am excited for her. So much opportunity there.
So we did all that this morning IN THE RAIN.. storms actually.
Got home went got her from school. Came back worked on her project for school, did the supper thing. THEN FINALLLY I worked on My L.O.A.D. (layout A Day) for today ITS DAY 3
and I JUST GOT DONE got it photographed and uploaded. WHEWWW.
THis is such a commitment. I’m glad I did it.
Gonna have some fun layouts at the end of this!
SO Check this out.
This one was hard for me because well I dont think I followed the directions so well. I have not been able to focus so well today.
so anyway here is my layout.
used October Afternoon and Bo Bunny Patterned Paper
Graphic 45 trims
I then used crushed shells and sand on top of the trims and a tag from mme (these were in my cupcards to go kit months ago)
Bo Bunny Trims
Thickers from American Crafts
Bo Bunny Jewels
October Afternoon tiny letter stickers
Donna Salazar Fairy Dust Pralines and creme (and I have to tell you if you use that stuff and you decide you want to take the top off and put the plastic back in so you can save it for travel or somethin… just know it wont help you will get that stuff allll over the place when you take the lid off so just don’t.. K?)
Tim Holtz Distress Stain Vintage Photo
(love those if you dont know that by now)
The starfish we got in orange beach 🙂 OK WE BOUGHT IT but we did get it there…
There are 7 pearls at the top to represent her age I took the photo tonight so dont be fussin to hard at me. I will do a better job tomorrow in the daylight (if it isnt rainin’) anyway So thats what I did for today. was fun playing with the shells and the sand and gettin creative.
Hope you all have a good evening.
Ok Im 2 days in whewhew..
Here is my second layout!
This page has alot of sentimental value. It is some old photos of My Bella bug.
she was 2 almost 3 in these photos.
I did hidden Journaling (wasnt enough room really) I used a kit from scarlet Lime)
Sassafrass papers, Pink Paislee and american Crafts.
American Crafts embellishments. Some For the Record by Echo park and doodlebug letter stickers.
Had to cut them to make some letters so don’t fuss at me too much.
I used my awesome Tim Holtz Distress stains around my distressed edges and bo bunny metal flower on my hidden journal tag. I pop dotted and distress stained the edges of the center photo to make it stand out and contrast from the others.as well as used contrasting colors. on the page for the challenge.
I used the dark wood stain all around each photo to make it pop out more.used the small small photo up against the large
and a smaller title
The journaling because its hidden and I know my writing is atrocious is as follows:
“Everything in these pictures have some sort of special meaning behind it. The story behind the chair though is the most sentimental of all time to me. It is made from the wood from my grandmother McCrary’s house. I know you don’t really understand what that means. But, That was my daddy’s mother. I grew up playing in her house. Uncle Windales Kids got one of these chairs made by my father. (made from wood from grandma’s house) After Daddy was killed I just put my wants to rest for a chair. I had no children. Then you came along. One day Uncle Windale was up at the shop and he was looking through a pile of wood tucked neatly up under some things and THERE packaged and tucked away was a pattern and just enough wood to make ONE MORE CHAIR. THIS CHAIR. for you. so see. I told you. You were meant to be. My daddy knew you were coming all along. PS: The dress and bracelet you have on your Nana got you, The bunny and the book is from Uncle Windale and Aunt Karen, and Uncle David and Aunt Diane took these photos. I hope you keep this chair forever. So one day your little munchkin can rock in it and you can tell them the story of how special it is and how your papaw saved this wood special just for you.
I love you, Your mama”
NOW I am ready for DAY 3.. This is FUN. SO who else out there is doing this challenge?
Today is the FIRST DAY of MAY and it is also the FIRST DAY of LOAD. I know alot of you are going what on earth are you talking about. I know scrapbookers most of them know what I am talking about. It is a challenge group that challenges themselves to make a layout a day for a month. YA. I know. Halfway through it we got WHAT WERE WE THINKING.
BUT.. in the end it is sooooooo cool to look at the creativity you get and what you have learned (SO I HEAR) this will be my first time to do it with this group. I have done something similar on my own. I think this is going to be awesome.
So Here is my first page:
I used the awesome Nikki Sivils “we are family” line love the bright colors.
I tore some co-redinations cardstock up to mimic how cats claw up all sorts of stuff (trust me they do) I used some of Tim Holtz wonderfully addictive distress stains (if you do not have any of these run do not walk to where ever the closest place near you that has them and get them… all of them. you need EVERY COLOR!)
WELL… YOU DO! The little clippy do thing is Basic Grey, I used that unidentifiable Green Martha Stewart punch again.. on the side.
Some Thickers and assorted ribbons
Didn’t take me long just a fun little quick page.
The journaling reads: Fraidy cat, Bebe and Sybil Kitty piled up fast asleep. Don’t they look comfy? OH to be able to sleep so good! “2011”
so first day down 30 more to go…. YIPPPPEEEEEE!!!! HERE WE GO!