the struggle

so this challenge is a little harder than expected. I have this condition that goes along with chronic illness that effects your kidneys called ICS (intercystal cystitis) it causes the lining of your bladder to just pretty much disengage and come off and shed and expel so ya it hurts like a mmmmmmm. so you pass through your urine pieces of your bladder. I will let you whince and go owwwwwwwww.
and on top of that I have kidney stones

Side effect from the medications I am on plus I havent exactly been eating really well lately. sugar (halloween) caffeine (root beer floats?) and stress hmmmm I WONDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR where that came from??
can cause it.
SO hence another reason Im so adament for doing this positivity challenge. I would like to continue it past the 21 days actually.
make it a regular habit.

Our challenge today is to do something to MAKE YOU HAPPY.

SO amongst all of this and I am not gonna lie it hurts. it feels like the kinda cramps you have when your in labor. has dropped down to my lower left side just above the pelvic bone. ya tmi but I can let you imagine the sharp pains it causes.
I am taking muscle relaxers to try to let it pass I dont want the pain meds because they make me itch soooo bad.
so im trying to just do it.

So anyway today im trying to do something that makes me happy.
something good that made me happy did happen. I cant really say what it was just in case Bella sees this but something she really really has wanted I ordered for her for Christmas came in today. and It is soooooo stinkin cutee. SOO beautiful and KNOWING how happy she is going to be Christmas morning when she opens this beautiful package and sees this. well. That brings me the greatest joy.
It made my day that it got her so fast.

so the main thing for her Christmas is done. The rest is just lil stuff. fill in thingys. this is her MAJOR THING.
the rest is the whatnots.
It made me so happy because I usually don’t get to do her Christmas shopping. In the past I have been in the hospital or too sick and had to rely on others to do it for me. Well this year I GOT TO DO IT. It brought me GREAT JOY.
I cannot wait to see her face christmas morning.
knowing how much she wanted this.
so ya that made me really happy today.
funny how something parents take for granted and dread sometimes, other parents that are unable to do it brings them such pride and joy.
I will hopefully be able to post my other pages in my mini art journal tomorrow.
Hope you are having a happy day 🙂


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