one step forward….3 back?

Maybe not 3 back but 2 GREAT big steps. Back in bed for me. Was feeling really good. was up doing stuff getting Bella ready for school.. then it happens Helping her put on her clothes she HANGS on my arms while I am bent over. Im screaming for her to stop she doesnt understand. then it starts.. bleeding and ouch pain. back in bed. take the meds get sick… will this ever end. IM back up today but NOT doing anything major. Got another dr appt to make sure I still have the stitches. Very dissapointed. But I know it can’t be helped such is life with an unpredictable 3 year old which THEY ALL are so no offense to her personally she is just a kid wanting to have fun with her mommy again. Im getting the grocery list ready.. sad kinda can’t get too much. but we need everything. THANK GOD we dont have to have diapers anymore YIPPEE! I have GOT to work on my Scrappy chic stuff today I HAVE to there is not anything else I HAVE to do this. I will sing Christmas songs and cut down the air whatever I have to do it. SO think CHristmasy thoughts!


Hurricane Katrina… DO you get the picture?

This is a hurricane picture I found online that just moved me to tears. I have saved it on my computer all this time. I haven’t scrapped it yet because I don’t know who took the photo to give them proper credits or even who this photo is of. I would love to. I may even get in trouble for this being on my blog but I had to share with you the feelings of this photo that pressed on my soul.

Here is this person, we dont see their face, but, what do we see in this picture? I see desperation.

They needed obviously something to go on their feet Im sure they were hurting. They probably walked for miles on end in the heat through the nastiest of conditions. I am sure they were feet that were beyond tired and acheing. Probably feet that tread through things their mind had never thought of. These feet may have been on a roof top, or at the bottom of many feet of water. They may have ran desperately for safety or to save someone else. They were a sight of desperation, but hope. They made do with resources they could find. Something readily available that could give the slightest amount of relief.

This moves me so much because it shows me how things really were and what we witnessed so many times. People without. BUT.. pulling together and coming up with a solution. Using what resources were in their reach no matter what but to serve the purpose of the need they were left in. So many people lost everything they had that day. Some didnt even have the shoes on their feet, even clothes on their backs. Food and water were a luxury better yet a safe place to be. All of the things we take for granted… America has so much yet..We were reduced in areas to worse than third world country conditions, war zones looked better and more promising.. Some feared help would never come. I wish I knew this person. I would be sure they never wanted for shoes again. Think about this today when you tie your laces, or fasten a buckle or slip on those crocs.
God bless all of those who suffer…. May they never have to suffer again.

In Memory

Bobby Joe McCrary
On August 28, 1995, Deputy Bobby Joe McCrary was fatally wounded during the pursuit of an auto theft suspect.
Deputy McCrary heard the radio transmission of the description of a stolen vehicle and within minutes saw the suspect vehicle go by. Deputy McCrary radioed in, stating that he was behind the suspect vehicle and would keep surveillance until other deputies could reach the scene. Deputy McCrary followed the vehicle for approximately four miles, when the driver pulled over, exited the suspect vehicle and started back toward Deputy McCrary. The deputy radioed in to inform dispatch what was happening. Suddenly the suspect began stabbing the deputy with a butcher knife before he could exit his vehicle. Deputy McCrary was transported to the nearest hospital but was pronounced dead on arrival.
The suspect in the case was an escapee from a drug treatment center located in Rankin County.

I love and Miss you so much daddy!
You are and always will be my number one hero!!!

*Please remember my family and friends in your prayers, TO everyone 11 years have gone by.. To us … it still feels like yesterday. Thank you

Further reading of a previous post which has the details regarding the loss of my father it is long so you may not want to read it. That is ok. It is what all happened that day in my words and my account from the family point of view. Going through the trial, dealing with the press and the family of the boy that killed my father. Thank you all for your support and remembering us in prayer today.

Groovy girl

I LOVE Winnies Walls by SEI. It is truly my favorite line of paper! It is so versitile and since Bella’s favorite color (well for a while there It has been changing pretty regular lately) is Orange IT fits perfect for me to scrap. They did such a good job of making it girly and frilly with just enough pizzaaz to make your pages ROCKIN’ and NO I dont get paid to say that (wouldn’ t that be so cool!) Add that to my list of dreams!

Speakign of Dreams… I Cannot sleep tonight. Every time I close my eyes I dream things sad so I just got back up and went online and played for a long time. Then scrapped this. I need to be doing those Christmas Cards for my Scrappy chickassignment but I just can’t find my groove on them. Maybe if I turn the air down low and sing Jingle Bells or something Ill get a wiff of inspiration!! I did get my other projects done for that though. IM SO PROUD of them. I wanna show ya but I can’t sorry. TOP secret till the magazine comes out! I also have all those back to school projects due for untamed back to school edition of The view. BY the way I am diva of the Month over there so GO check it out!!

SO what are you gonna do on this Sunday? Are you going to church with your family? I sure hope so. I would love to go but My dr will not release me till tomorrow to go do anything. I figure he will, but IM having a strange discharge so who knows what that is. We will know soon enough. Other than that I feel fine. SO MUCH BETTER. Funny you look back and see just how horrific you did feel after you feel better and IM NOT even healed yet and LOOK at all the stuff Im able to do. Stuff I haven’t been able to do in MONTHS. SO happy. My dr is praying (I know I sure am) this surgery finally puts me back into remission! WE did get the pathology report and NO CANCER. WHat a relief. I have never been so happy in my life. I really didn’t think it was but he said ya never know and with the family history it is best to have it tested. SO they were all fibrous tissues, adhesions, cyst and non cancerous tumors. JUST enough to make ya sick though (esp if you have lupus) the are discovering more and more information out and come to find out Endometriosis and Lupus DONT JIVE at all. They feed like off each other and can cause a HUGE array of problems and Kidney issues were like number 2 on the list. IMAGINE THAT. Thank God I had a gyno that is knowledgable and works hand in hand with my rheumatologist. That was a true blessing. He was so sweet to me and he showed genuine concern. I would highly recommend him to anyone in Mobile. Im so happy I found a dr that could help. OK Im off. I wish I could go to church today. Im still swollen and don’t know if any of my clothes would fit to tell the truth. ALso kinda embarrassed ok aot embarrassed…I look like a jack o lantern since they messed my teeth up so bad during the surgery. They said I can get them fixed HOPEFULLY next week (can’t take the what you call it to numb you and the gas and stuff because of my throat and recent anesthesia..?? that is what they said anyway) I will be so happy to get it fixed though! Maybe I wont look so redneckish Nothing like swollen fat hysterectomy woman with chipped and banged up teeth.. NOT pretty site. Happy Sunday to you. Have a wonderful day!

The great flood of 2006.. reality check

Have yall been over to scrappers bliss? Yall know I talk about it and scrap that moment and scrappy chick and untamed scrapper constantly. WELL, there is this MAsSIVE title wave goin on! IT is awesome and exciting to see! The numbers are falling and that is so amazing to watch I love seeing that number fall it is kinda like the neilson ratings but for scrapbook sites. The lower the number the better. WELL IT JUMPED like 5 spots yesterday till today. BUT what alot dont understand is how that works. IT is based actually on average not on daily hits. THe average traffic that hits a site. SO YOU CAN IMAGINE how many people are clickin on that site looking at the rockin gallery (it really is if you dont generally think I feel this way then You are SOOoo new to my blog) Andrea and Jenn bust their tail to carry the coolest stuff (yeah they are killin me here) and in the process have made this THE design team to apply for. THey have been MONSOOONED with entries. I cannot begin to imagine. I know they are terrified to hurt anyone’s feelings and want this to just keep being the hottest spot so they want to pick THE right people for their site. I would so hate to have to choose.
BUT I wanted to talk with you about that. How important we base ourself worth or our “talents” on such. I wonder how many are out there that are gonna never darken the door if they dont get this. I can imagine the flames on other site and broken hearts and paper trimmers and long whiney layouts with dramatic journaling and photos of tears streaming down faces… SO I wanna reality check, HAVE YALL LOOKED AT WHO ALL HAS APPLIED???? OH MY GAWEsh I have already convinced myself I have a snowballs chance in florida at getting it . BUT my main thing I want everyone to remember IF you dont get anything else from this post TAKE THIS. DONT give up. KEEP at it and LEARN something. I have learned MORE from these places I advertise on my blog. I see alot of what is going on out there and the ones that are successful are the ones with awesome attitude, YEAH they have talent but attitude to boot. Its not JUST about scrapping.. it is the photos, it is HOW you make people feel when they see that page, what do they get from it. What do they carry in their spot that retains thought. I have layouts that the picture may not be so great but the journaling.. wow, maybe the page isnt that great a page BUT I had a blast making it and it shows! Well its the same thing what keeps people coming back to a site. The people there? Do they have a blast scrapping and creating? What is the product they are selling.. the design team.. the involvment. actual scrapbook supplies? Yeah having the latest and greatest product DOES HELP believe you me….. I have an awesome example. scrap That THIS place is a power house site. why? LOOK at how involved their owners are. Look at how involved their team is. EVERYONE has mega posts. Their design team is readily available.. I posted some layouts on this site that on other sites maybe got 1 or 2 posts WITHIN 24 hours I had 10, 12 comments on them.. THe owner and staff are right there posting and involved. The design team is rockin but they are uplifting to be around. I have a “big sister” Athene OMgosh yall she is AWESOME. I hardly knew these people but when I had my recent surgery… they were all right there for me witha ll these feelings I went through. They were instant family. Same thing here at Bliss. Now mind you Im not on scrap that moments design team. I am a designer for their magazine and a member of their site BUT they make you feel so much like a part. SAME THING at BLISS. You feel at HOME. You are comfy. You are like at a crop. You scrap you chat you show look what I did, You oooh and ahh over product. YOU want to come back. I love the involvement of the people the design team the staff every one IT is the warm fuzzies. SO ..IF you love a site keep trying DON’t just say OH they didn’t pick me Become that dog layin on a nail and go pout. THey may not pick me or pick you because of other reasons I am sure this is a rough decision they are having to make. Im sure there is alot of advil being consumed right now. SO keep that in mind. I don’t really know what they are looking for in their design team here. I know big names have applied and Yeah at first I was let down by that. BUT hey.. THAT IS AWESOME THat means this place is so KICKIN everyone wants to be a part! If I do get picked then WOW! IF I DONT I am still a part of this place and honored to be there. I may not be ready for that in my life yet. BUT the friend’s I have made there, The people I wouldnt have met If they didnt have this huge call is unbelievable and the love I have for this is not gonna change. I will still be there regardless and Ya know what… you never know what life deals..what if one of the people cant fullfill their obigations as a design team member? They may just remember some of us NOT so big names that are steady and true along the way. ATTITUDE is everything. NOt to mention my overwhelming good looks and charm and wit IF that dont clinch the deal for them then HEY… It aint gonna happen GOOD luck to everyone and I expect to see ALL OF YOU NO matter the outcome YA HEAR? GO scrap something GO ON… get up from the computer…~ muah


FRONT PAGE OF AOL seasons first powerful storm then it goes on to talk about the “deadly storm” what the hell is this!!!!! IT ISNT EVEN A HURRICANE YET… THEY WILL jump on all this for ratings all over the media get people scared as crapp and they flee from it and it not do anything 4 times all the way up to LET SEE THE LETTER K… then people dont fear it or respect them so they dont listen and THEN MORE PEOPLE DIE and are hurt because of it. THIS IS CRAPP and it makes me so angry. I despise what the media has become.
There is my flame for the week… Ya know I have been with AOL for 11 years and I am having more problems with them than ever before then I open it up and see this.. Makes me cringe and really have a bad taste. THE CHEAPER SERVICES are looking better and better! BUT I cant just blame them IT S ON THE FLIPPIN NEWS as well. SHOCK AND AWE TV.. when will they stop!

Climbing down off my soap box and looking for something to stop this headache (sledgehammer is lookin pretty good .. talk about shock and awe hee hee)


Journaling as follows: Powerless: 1 lacking in strength or power, helpless and totall ineffectual. 2. Lacking in legal or other authority. Powerless is such a broad word to describe what we were left after hurricane Katrina. In the literal sense yes we had no electricity. Ot was hot, Really hot. The first day it wasn’t that bad. But, by day two the breeze leftover from the hurricane was gone. It was hot, humid and just plain sticky outside. I would bathe you off in the sink in cool water since we still had a little hot water left in the water heater, I wouldn’t use just straight cold because it would take away your breathe. You didn’t understand why you couldn’t watch tv and why it was so dark in the evening. You wanted waffles but we had no way to cook them. We were powerless. When our friends carol and norman Hughes brought us their generator from Pensacola. It made it a lot better. We hooked up the refrigerator and deep freezer a box fan and a small tv. They brought us some milk for you and other necessities like Ice, sandwhich meat and bread. We lost all the contents of our refrigerator so anything cool was a luxury. We took turns in front of the fan cooling off. Finally we turned on the tv. The images we saw on television of the devastation throughout the south just were overwhelming. We felt so powerless. We had no idea the fate of the rest of the coast except by word of mouth and what they had said on the radio. Their descriptions failed in comparison to what we saw for the first time on that screen. It showed me just how small we are in the universe and how great and mighty God is. It showed me the perspective of how we take so many things for granted and in a flash we can be what we really are…. Powerless.

FINALLY photos are uploading..

BElla had to help when we were putting the boards up on the windows in our effort to prepare for Katrina. And the other page that is lifted up has the second photo on the right… THAT is our neighbors house… John kept saying UGHm hun notice anything odd about that.. where is the bay window where are the psycho palm plants … where is the REST of the house… GUess I was so busy scrappin I just didnt notice.. OH well IT made for a lovely page. ANd their drive way is MUCH cleaner than ours hehehehe

Hmmm is that a big ol squirrel behind you or….

HI MOM! THis is my mom and Bella when she was like not even 1 yet and she had NOT discovered the big honkin squirell behind Grandma yet. Mom is talking to her and she is so busy she is like HI to everyone then she turns her head and Bella catches a glimpse of the 6 foot squirrel in the santa hat and it was like holy crapp GRAMMA DID YOU KNOW THERE IS A BIG HONKIN SOMETHIN’ BEHIND YOU. She was like ape crapp crazy trying to get away. I found this photo while trying to find the katrina pictures and so sorry but I JUST HAD to share this I spit Apple Juice on that one. AND we wonder why she is having bad dreams…..

Two peas post : Katrina a year after…

OK so the pages didn’t show up for some reason…. I will try again later. Alot of you have seen them already anyway.
I am having trouble with Blogger uploading images for some reason… anyway. They are the same ones that are on 2 Peas in my gallery. WHich If you are here reading this chances are you saw it anyway since I answered the thread on Hurricane Katrina A year later. I did several layouts and I kept the newspapers because, well one, this was our first hurricane we were effected by, NOTHING Like the severity of others, DONT get me wrong. We were so blessed. IM not trying to make light of others suffering. I did want Bella to be able to look back and see what it was like though a first hand account. I kinda wish my mom had done that with camille. I see the footage etc but she tells the story of it effecting them so far inland in Brandon, Mississippi where I lived my entire life, and the Tornadoes etc and how one of the little towns that neighbors them was wiped out. It was WAY inland from the coast IM TALKIN middle of the state if your familiar with the area… So yeah now all hurricanes are gonna be compared to Katrina its the new Camille. It is kinda ironic.. My brother and other family members were calling us BEGGING us to come home evacuate get out now. THey couldnt deal with another death that close to the anniversary of our dad. They took turns calling and “talking sense into us” I was plenty scared BELIEVE ME! But, we are close to the coast.. things are built down here to with stand this.. IF that storm moves like the others did back to the right like the little weather dude on our local channel here was jumping up and down screaming was gonna happen.. We would be in more trouble up there than we would here. Actually my husband was pounding this in my head I had packed the truck the dog the baby and was ready to move to canada. I was scared to death. BUT they were right and YES if we had gone home we would have been stuck longer up there with no gas,no power,and not able to get back home for several weeks It was one of the most terrifying experiences I have ever been through. I CANNOT IMAGINE what others that were in the direct line and on rooftops and in worse situations went through.
I watched dateline tonight. It is so humbling, It was about the hospital in new orleans and how these drs and the staff there saved so many people. I KNOW there are MILLIONS of other hero’s out there and I am so just moved by what these people accomplished in such dire straights..

I want yall also to keep in your prayers over the next few days My mom especially, My brother and his family, my uncle and aunt’s and cousins, and the parents of the boy that killed my father. I know they are living their own kind of hell as well on this day that is coming up the day before the anniversary of katrina… I cant imagine what that must be like to have a child do such a thing. I know Im not supposed to hate him. I just havn’t made it to that place yet. So yeah, pray for me and my family too. Thanks

PS: I talked with Jeanne a little today. SHe sounded better to me as far as I could understand what she was saying lol. She said she still looks like a chipmunk and still feels alot of pain. SHe was not a happy camper she couldnt take her medication yet because she had to go pick her son up from school since he couldnt find a ride home. SO remember her as well too.
and dont worry ILL BE back to my crazy NOT such a downer self soon I promise!